On The Stump

Hey dad. Was just on a hike. I was walking near the base of the mountain and scaled up to the base. I saw a few stumps there and relaxed for a moment looking at the apartments over the highway. Watching some of the cars drift below I caught my attention on a few stumps. I was compelled so I sat on one. Then I pictured you sitting on the one next to me. 

About a 20 minute walk from my house

I wondered to myself. If you were there what would we talk about, what questions would we ask each other? Well, I would first say, I love you. Not that I have a long list of reasons, but... Well, maybe a few reasons but it's not THE reason why I would say I love you. You are my dad. Some people know you as John, or the construction guy, or even husband, but I know you as dad. Maybe God was able to teach me through the years to value that. 

Turns out I don’t know how old you are. How old are you? I think the other day I said 53 but honestly, I can give or take 5 years. Yeah, I don't remember your age. I saw you the other day through the zoom. You looked the same. Ever since you shaved your mustache you always have kinda looked the same. That was years ago. I still remember your scruffy hairs that you would brush across my face. I liked it. You still don't mind getting that close to me even as the years have passed. I like that even more. Well, that is when I get the time to come back to the United States every year or so. We talked on the zoom. I was in that accident. The one with the car. I described how the car was totaled, then you said something like this. "There are more cars, but there is only 1 you." You remember my first car accident? The one when I was 16? It flipped over down a hill. A tree stopped Gunther and I from rolling over and over. The tree caught us as we hung upside-down. Anyway, you remember what you said? You were happy because you didn’t have to pay the insurance. Yeah, I remember that. I am optimistic that you are growing into a better person. Better person maybe meaning you are living in a deeper clarity of the meaning of life. Anyhow, what you said encouraged me.

What would you ask me? Looking out from the stump you might just ask through your all too familiar bold brown eyes, “How is Korea?” I would make some general comments. "Yeah good. No complaints. It’s alright." I would wonder if you are proud of me. I wonder that. You might not be, but you can ask the students, parents, or the other teachers I work with. They might be proud. Well maybe some of them not. But I am your son, so by design your thoughts and words matter, even if I try to put them on the back burner at times. You might ask about my future, career, goals, or expectations. You oftentimes bring it up. I think it’s a good thing. Faith would come into play and maybe side by side, stump near stump we get caught up in some religious knot of a blender of words. I don't really like that. It has been fruitless, and the stirred-up shake is sour. 

Maybe you would ask about Colton, Angel, my mom, the health of grandma and other family remembers. If you did, I would elaborate and paint you a refined painting of each of them as much as you wanted to hear. Or maybe you ask about her and investigate if I have my ducks in a row for the future. Do you want grandchildren? Do you want to be called, ‘grandpa?’ Or maybe you would like the southern style, ‘pawpaw.’ How bout I just give you some cute but masculine name and tell my kids to call you that? How do you like, ‘bear’ or something like ... ahhh. Maybe just ‘bear.’ I wonder about you. I still think I do not know much about you. Some things you may not even know about yourself. Maybe that is a topic for another time… Yeah maybe another time on the stump. Looking forward to it. 

Simply Your Son, Jarid